Keep Calm, I'm a Nurse

I know some of you guys have been waiting and requesting for this topic on my blog.

I can still recall entering the testing center at Makati. I was uneasy and nauseated. I couldn't eat my breakfast because I felt like throwing up, I was that nervous. It was that kind of fear. I was worried that my lungs were gonna come out of my mouth. My knees were shaking while I go up the elevator and just prayed for everything to go well. It felt like my life depended on it. I was like:

This blog is for all of the nursing Students, nurses who are bound to take their boards, and for the awesome nurses that have already taken it. This is not to scare you, but this is real talk.

Before you can work as a Nurse in the US, of course, you have to pass a test called NCLEX-RN.

It stands for National Council Licensure Examination for Registered Nurses. You take this test on a computer, and it just throws 75-265 questions at you, and it shuts down when it knows whether you passed or failed.

It is called Computer Adaptive Testing. The computer's goal is to get much information as possible about your true ability level. 

It just basically means that the more hard questions you get, the more you prove about your nursing competency.

I am going to warn you. This is one of the hardest exams in my 24 years of existence. Do not take this test lightly. This is an exam that you want to get on your first try.

I was really contemplating whether to write this blog or not, of course taking into consideration, my ego, but I want to help out people who are struggling to go back to studying after a downfall of not passing NCLEX-RN. The purpose of my blog is to inspire people. So here I am, sharing one of my darkest moments with you.

I didn't get it on my first try, why? I underestimated the test. It was entirely my fault, I thought after graduating college, information was all fresh in my mind, and I thought I was smart enough to pass the test, not really putting much effort in studying, and not thinking about the weight of this exam for my future. I was overly-confident.

While I was studying. I didn't have any structure. I was reading but it felt like I was just flipping the pages of the book. I regret not studying like I was in college. I relied on my luck and was hoping to pass with little effort.

Then the moment of truth came, I took the test. I was so excited, anticipating all the job offers that I'm going to get and finally just moving on with my career. After I finished the exam, for some reason, I wasn't nervous. I felt nothing.

I couldn't wait for the results. After a day of doing my research, I came across the Pearson Vue trick and the bad popup showed up. At that moment, when I found out I failed, everything just fell apart. My dreams seemed so far away. I cried.....a lot. I cried my heart out.......  When I recall this event in my head, it still breaks my heart every time. I was hugely discouraged of this major failure. I didn't know how to get back up. I couldn't believe it. I was in Denial. I begged for the Pearson Vue trick to be wrong but it was dead accurate.

It was a huge disappointment to my family, friends, and everyone that knew about it.

I wanted to kept it as a secret forever and bury it in the ground, because I just felt like a big failure. I felt like crap. I felt stupid. All the confidence that I have in myself was gone. It was hard for me to accept failure at that time, because everything was going well for me, I might have been average in nursing school but I made it to our dean's list at least twice, and passed my boards in the Philippines on my first try, and everyone thought that I was going to pass that test but sometimes, life has a way of telling us, "not yet." 

You can just imagine my desperation to pass, it was like I was gasping for air......and then I realized, failures are part of life. If you don't fail, you don't learn. If you don't learn you don't change.

I was really reflecting about what I had to change in my first attempt, to pass the test.

I've tried every book: Kaplan, Exam Cram, Hurst, NCSBN, name it, but the best book of them all, and I consider my Nursing Bible is, Saunder's Comprehensive Review for NCLEX-RN.

And don't forget to add La Charity for Management of Care, because it accounts as 17-23% of the exam, Most of the questions were Prioritization questions.

And if you have a good mentor, like my NCLEX-RN instructor, Sir Bien. You're in the right track.

To some of you who have no idea, what the test is about, our career as a nurse, future and everything, relies on this test.

This is the test, that will make you move forward with your life. So, you have to be really careful with the decisions you make during your study and you must plan what your strategy is, to pass the test.

I advise for you to take a moment and assess yourself how you learn. We all learn differently.

I learned that I'm a visual learner, I like seeing images, for example, when I was studying, I have drawn the whole cardiovascular system on a piece of paper, for me to actually understand how the heart works.

When I attend lectures, I jot down notes like crazy but I have bad penmanship, so my notes were all over the place. So when I rewrite my notes at home. I review the topic we had for that day and I am able to understand it more. I have used more pens than this.

The hardest thing that I had to do while studying was to read my Saunder's book cover to cover with 1184 pages by heart and write every important part of each chapter on my notebook.

I think that reading that book was the most important part of it all. It was the core of everything. It was the foundation that required most focus on.

You can practice and answer all the questions you want, but if you don't understand the question, how they came up with the question, and why the question was asked, you have to go back to your book. 

Again, read it comprehensively. I didn't want to practice on my questions unless I knew Saunder's inside and out. It was exhausting reading it everyday, but my motivation of passing the test was out of control, I had the strong desire to pass.

I had to write down my goals on a white board and hung the board infront of my bed, so I would see it in the morning when I open my eyes.

I wrote down all the chapters in the book and their due dates to be read. I'd put a realistic goal of 3 chapters per day, or when I'm crazy 4 chapters.

And I had a countdown on my calendar from the start of my review to the day I take the test.

Sometimes when you know your test is coming up, the anxiety, helps out and kicks you out of bed and make you study.

When reading each chapter make sure, if you don't understand it, read it again. I was very detailed on my notes, I have drawn the human brain, the digestive system, fallopian tubes, parts of a cell, everything. I wrote down every single disease, signs and symptoms, interventions. This was me, when someone was trying to distract me, when I'm doing my notes.

What really worked for me were my acronyms, that, I, can only understand.

I can't really say that I knew everything. My brain can only hold so much. Just remember the main concepts in each system. 

One of my weakness that I recognized was Pharmacology. I hated medications even when I was in college. I can't memorize all medications! What I did was, I just familiarized myself with the most common medications by category.

If you know your A-B-Cs. You're awesome!

I also hated math. I'm not good with my numbers. So calculations was not my cup of tea either, but Sir Bien made it easy for me because of the formula that he made us memorize. Especially how to calculate Dopamine.

Ok, l only had one calculation question on the exam. That was my last question before my computer went off. I had to recheck my Dopamine calculation three times before I clicked next to my next question.......and then computer stopped. I was like:

I'm like: "Is it really happening? Am I done?"

I guess, I did that with every question, I had to read it carefully a couple of times, before I went on to the next one, and one of the effective test taking strategy is elimination.

I knew right there that I passed the exam because of that calculation question. I thanked myself for rechecking that calculation 3 times..... If I didn't get that question right, I would have answered a couple of more questions and had the higher risk to fail..... When the computer wen off. At first I was like:

Then I was like:

I had the weirdest feeling ever. I had a gut feeling that I passed the freaking test. It seemed that I knew it in me that even though I didn't have the official results yet, that I made it. I felt like jumping up and down. I just wanted to get my things out of the locker and check the Pearson Vue Trick right away. At the elevator, I thought my heart was going to explode of excitement. Outside the building, I was still calculating that Dopamine question. I couldn't contain my happiness.

When I checked to see if I passed my boards using the Pearson Vue Trick. The good popup showed up! The test that I was studying for is finally over, it was over!! I passed. The rest was history.

I think failing the test the first time was blessing in disguise. It was good learning experience for me. What I have learned was, "In everything that you want to do in life, always give it your best." That's why, from that moment on, I always try my hardest, no matter what it is, I give it my all. I have never been humbled like this before. I truly believe that failures and mistakes is what makes you, you. It is entirely up to us, how we are going to take it. 

“Failure is only final once you’ve stopped trying."

"Our society is so caught up in winning, we forget that most of the great men and women in history have, at one time or another, failed at something, often repeatedly, and discouragingly. But each failure is nothing more than a brick in a wall that forms the foundation of our success. We can’t forget that.” - Carlton Young

I'm very proud in where I am now. I'm here because, I didn't give up. I've learned that failure is not fatal and success is not final, It is the courage to continue that counts. I'm thankful for this setbacks and low points because It might be just what I needed at the time.

It felt good to have passed that test when you knew that you did everything in your power to get through it.

Taking that test was so critical for me, it was a make it or break it situation. I have encountered some difficulties in this chapter of my life, and I really thought of giving up along the way, but, I didn't. Instead, I got back up and worked my butt off to dedicate my time studying.

Sometimes, things don't play out the way we want to, but, when you set your mind to reaching your goal, nothing can stop you.

And when you finally have the courage to stand back up.....

Say: Keep Calm, I'm a Nurse and I can do it!

Smooches,
P