Ten Years from Now

Where would I like to be after 10 years?

It's hard to see your future after that first blog that I posted. LOL.

Well, since I accepted this challenge. Bear with me. This is the second topic on the list.

Some deep soulsearching in progress.

After 10 years, I would be 35 years old.

I would like to have a stable career, family, kids, and a house. The american dream.

Career: Wherever my feet will take me. In this industry and in this kind of economy, finding a job is hard. My goal is to become a CRNA and there is still time to pursue that path, It's just a matter of strong will and determination to advance.

I would be honest, it's always hard to get out of your comfort zone, and it's always scary to make major career decisions. 

After 10 years I can still be in my Specialty which is Nephrology, probably in Acute/Chronic or I can be in ICU and could be going to school for CRNA. 

The goal for now, is to get as many experience you can, and grow from there. It's always about gaining new skills and knowledge.

In any career, of course, the goal is you always want to advance, not just for more money, but also for self worth.

Family: When do I want to get married? When the right guy asks for my hand? I'd say 28-30 is a good age.

If God permits me to have someone in my life. I'd have a husband who loves me so dearly and I would love him just the same. I'd prefer someone to be in the same field as me, so I don't have to think about translating a medical jargon, but if not, it's okay too. Someone who can cook and wash my dishes. I hope he likes working out because, we would work out everyday. Someone who have the same interests and goals as me. Someone who can calm me down when I get really mad, because I have a bad temper. I would like to have that kind of love that would kill you, if you're not with them, like air.

Kids: I want to have kids at the age of 30-33. I would love to have twins. 

They say I'm not the nurturing kind, as evidenced by my dying orchid at work, and my vicious pet at home, but I hope I would be a good mother someday to my children.

House: I would like a home that would be a witness to many of our memories as a family. I'd like it to be big enough for friends and family who would like to come over. I'd probably throw tea parties with my girlfriends and he'd host poker nights with his buds.

Again, in 10 years, these things that I mentioned are just expectations. 

It may turn out as I want to be, or it may not. We decide what's going to happen, we write our own story in our own little book. We may encounter a few wrong turns along the way, but it's what we do to get back on track that matters.

Never ever regret the few bumps on the road that you have encountered in your life. It maybe just what you needed at that time to grow and to become much better. I hope someday, if ever I encounter them, and not meet this expectations after 10 years, I will go back to this blog, take a deep breath and say:

"It is okay........Love what you have, appreciate what is there, and have faith that it will happen someday, not today, but eventually."

Where would you be ten years from now?

Smooches,

P

Keep Calm, I'm a Nurse

I know some of you guys have been waiting and requesting for this topic on my blog.

I can still recall entering the testing center at Makati. I was uneasy and nauseated. I couldn't eat my breakfast because I felt like throwing up, I was that nervous. It was that kind of fear. I was worried that my lungs were gonna come out of my mouth. My knees were shaking while I go up the elevator and just prayed for everything to go well. It felt like my life depended on it. I was like:

This blog is for all of the nursing Students, nurses who are bound to take their boards, and for the awesome nurses that have already taken it. This is not to scare you, but this is real talk.

Before you can work as a Nurse in the US, of course, you have to pass a test called NCLEX-RN.

It stands for National Council Licensure Examination for Registered Nurses. You take this test on a computer, and it just throws 75-265 questions at you, and it shuts down when it knows whether you passed or failed.

It is called Computer Adaptive Testing. The computer's goal is to get much information as possible about your true ability level. 

It just basically means that the more hard questions you get, the more you prove about your nursing competency.

I am going to warn you. This is one of the hardest exams in my 24 years of existence. Do not take this test lightly. This is an exam that you want to get on your first try.

I was really contemplating whether to write this blog or not, of course taking into consideration, my ego, but I want to help out people who are struggling to go back to studying after a downfall of not passing NCLEX-RN. The purpose of my blog is to inspire people. So here I am, sharing one of my darkest moments with you.

I didn't get it on my first try, why? I underestimated the test. It was entirely my fault, I thought after graduating college, information was all fresh in my mind, and I thought I was smart enough to pass the test, not really putting much effort in studying, and not thinking about the weight of this exam for my future. I was overly-confident.

While I was studying. I didn't have any structure. I was reading but it felt like I was just flipping the pages of the book. I regret not studying like I was in college. I relied on my luck and was hoping to pass with little effort.

Then the moment of truth came, I took the test. I was so excited, anticipating all the job offers that I'm going to get and finally just moving on with my career. After I finished the exam, for some reason, I wasn't nervous. I felt nothing.

I couldn't wait for the results. After a day of doing my research, I came across the Pearson Vue trick and the bad popup showed up. At that moment, when I found out I failed, everything just fell apart. My dreams seemed so far away. I cried.....a lot. I cried my heart out.......  When I recall this event in my head, it still breaks my heart every time. I was hugely discouraged of this major failure. I didn't know how to get back up. I couldn't believe it. I was in Denial. I begged for the Pearson Vue trick to be wrong but it was dead accurate.

It was a huge disappointment to my family, friends, and everyone that knew about it.

I wanted to kept it as a secret forever and bury it in the ground, because I just felt like a big failure. I felt like crap. I felt stupid. All the confidence that I have in myself was gone. It was hard for me to accept failure at that time, because everything was going well for me, I might have been average in nursing school but I made it to our dean's list at least twice, and passed my boards in the Philippines on my first try, and everyone thought that I was going to pass that test but sometimes, life has a way of telling us, "not yet." 

You can just imagine my desperation to pass, it was like I was gasping for air......and then I realized, failures are part of life. If you don't fail, you don't learn. If you don't learn you don't change.

I was really reflecting about what I had to change in my first attempt, to pass the test.

I've tried every book: Kaplan, Exam Cram, Hurst, NCSBN, name it, but the best book of them all, and I consider my Nursing Bible is, Saunder's Comprehensive Review for NCLEX-RN.

And don't forget to add La Charity for Management of Care, because it accounts as 17-23% of the exam, Most of the questions were Prioritization questions.

And if you have a good mentor, like my NCLEX-RN instructor, Sir Bien. You're in the right track.

To some of you who have no idea, what the test is about, our career as a nurse, future and everything, relies on this test.

This is the test, that will make you move forward with your life. So, you have to be really careful with the decisions you make during your study and you must plan what your strategy is, to pass the test.

I advise for you to take a moment and assess yourself how you learn. We all learn differently.

I learned that I'm a visual learner, I like seeing images, for example, when I was studying, I have drawn the whole cardiovascular system on a piece of paper, for me to actually understand how the heart works.

When I attend lectures, I jot down notes like crazy but I have bad penmanship, so my notes were all over the place. So when I rewrite my notes at home. I review the topic we had for that day and I am able to understand it more. I have used more pens than this.

The hardest thing that I had to do while studying was to read my Saunder's book cover to cover with 1184 pages by heart and write every important part of each chapter on my notebook.

I think that reading that book was the most important part of it all. It was the core of everything. It was the foundation that required most focus on.

You can practice and answer all the questions you want, but if you don't understand the question, how they came up with the question, and why the question was asked, you have to go back to your book. 

Again, read it comprehensively. I didn't want to practice on my questions unless I knew Saunder's inside and out. It was exhausting reading it everyday, but my motivation of passing the test was out of control, I had the strong desire to pass.

I had to write down my goals on a white board and hung the board infront of my bed, so I would see it in the morning when I open my eyes.

I wrote down all the chapters in the book and their due dates to be read. I'd put a realistic goal of 3 chapters per day, or when I'm crazy 4 chapters.

And I had a countdown on my calendar from the start of my review to the day I take the test.

Sometimes when you know your test is coming up, the anxiety, helps out and kicks you out of bed and make you study.

When reading each chapter make sure, if you don't understand it, read it again. I was very detailed on my notes, I have drawn the human brain, the digestive system, fallopian tubes, parts of a cell, everything. I wrote down every single disease, signs and symptoms, interventions. This was me, when someone was trying to distract me, when I'm doing my notes.

What really worked for me were my acronyms, that, I, can only understand.

I can't really say that I knew everything. My brain can only hold so much. Just remember the main concepts in each system. 

One of my weakness that I recognized was Pharmacology. I hated medications even when I was in college. I can't memorize all medications! What I did was, I just familiarized myself with the most common medications by category.

If you know your A-B-Cs. You're awesome!

I also hated math. I'm not good with my numbers. So calculations was not my cup of tea either, but Sir Bien made it easy for me because of the formula that he made us memorize. Especially how to calculate Dopamine.

Ok, l only had one calculation question on the exam. That was my last question before my computer went off. I had to recheck my Dopamine calculation three times before I clicked next to my next question.......and then computer stopped. I was like:

I'm like: "Is it really happening? Am I done?"

I guess, I did that with every question, I had to read it carefully a couple of times, before I went on to the next one, and one of the effective test taking strategy is elimination.

I knew right there that I passed the exam because of that calculation question. I thanked myself for rechecking that calculation 3 times..... If I didn't get that question right, I would have answered a couple of more questions and had the higher risk to fail..... When the computer wen off. At first I was like:

Then I was like:

I had the weirdest feeling ever. I had a gut feeling that I passed the freaking test. It seemed that I knew it in me that even though I didn't have the official results yet, that I made it. I felt like jumping up and down. I just wanted to get my things out of the locker and check the Pearson Vue Trick right away. At the elevator, I thought my heart was going to explode of excitement. Outside the building, I was still calculating that Dopamine question. I couldn't contain my happiness.

When I checked to see if I passed my boards using the Pearson Vue Trick. The good popup showed up! The test that I was studying for is finally over, it was over!! I passed. The rest was history.

I think failing the test the first time was blessing in disguise. It was good learning experience for me. What I have learned was, "In everything that you want to do in life, always give it your best." That's why, from that moment on, I always try my hardest, no matter what it is, I give it my all. I have never been humbled like this before. I truly believe that failures and mistakes is what makes you, you. It is entirely up to us, how we are going to take it. 

“Failure is only final once you’ve stopped trying."

"Our society is so caught up in winning, we forget that most of the great men and women in history have, at one time or another, failed at something, often repeatedly, and discouragingly. But each failure is nothing more than a brick in a wall that forms the foundation of our success. We can’t forget that.” - Carlton Young

I'm very proud in where I am now. I'm here because, I didn't give up. I've learned that failure is not fatal and success is not final, It is the courage to continue that counts. I'm thankful for this setbacks and low points because It might be just what I needed at the time.

It felt good to have passed that test when you knew that you did everything in your power to get through it.

Taking that test was so critical for me, it was a make it or break it situation. I have encountered some difficulties in this chapter of my life, and I really thought of giving up along the way, but, I didn't. Instead, I got back up and worked my butt off to dedicate my time studying.

Sometimes, things don't play out the way we want to, but, when you set your mind to reaching your goal, nothing can stop you.

And when you finally have the courage to stand back up.....

Say: Keep Calm, I'm a Nurse and I can do it!

Smooches,
P

Twenty Six Point Freaking Two

It has been five days since the said "Full Marathon" event in Orange County. I still can't get over it..... I know some of you guys are like: "Oh she did a full marathon, big deal." Or like "Oh 26 miles, oh?"

Some people don't even have any idea what a marathon is or how it is to run 26.2miles. 

At first, me neither. I didn't even know how far 26.2 miles is.....Now that I calculated it in my gps, It is 24.6 miles from our Apartment to Brea Mall, and if I think about it, I still have 1.6 miles to hit finish line after the mall.

This was our map:

I didn't have any clue what its like to run a marathon. I thought it was gonna be easy. I'm like, you're just basically running right? That's it. How hard can it be?

When I first started to get into fitness, I started on a treadmill. I was running 5 miles.

I thought that was hardcore then. 

Then I started running more and more.

I can still see a picture of myself, in my head, running on my 20th mile. How my feet was hurting, my legs cramping, my knees almost giving up, and how my body was just telling me to stop the race right then and there. I literally felt like dying. I kept telling myself: "one more mile, one more mile, one more mile."

I don't care how slow I go, but I just have to finish it, even if I had to walk it, I told myself before the race. I kept repeating in my head, I can do it.

To my surprise, I just kept running. I had to stop here and there to stretch and use the portalet, but It was really amazing how I have conquered that thing with just believing that I can finish it with little or no training. Mind over Matter, it really is true.

The thing about making big moves is that its terrifying. 

The twist in this story is that I accidentally signed up for the Full Marathon instead of the Half Marathon. 

What a screw up right? 

When we got in at the expo at OC fair grounds to pick up our packet. I was looking for my bib number. I got nervous, when my bib number fell on the Full Marathon category. My heart just stopped.

One of my teammates offered to run the full marathon for me, because he felt sorry for me. He thought I didn't train enough for it and that he seriously thought that it was tough without training. He actually felt scared for me, because It was my first marathon ever. 

They all say that before you do a Full Marathon, you should have atleast done 3 Half Marathons or have ran at least 20 miles weeks before the race. Of course that is a given. You should train for something big like this, but for some reason, I was in a high and wanted to do it. I wanted to know my limit. I had a fighting spirit of a freakin' lion. Brave litte girl eh? But of course there were doubts.

Then on our way home, while at the car, we came up with Plan A&B.

Plan A: To finish the race, even if it means walking. Call medic, if I was feeling tired or if I was injured. Goal time: 6 or 7hrs even if I reached the cut off time with no medal. Disqualified for Beach Cities medal.

Plan B: Turn left and finish Half Marathon with Medal. Still disqualified for Beach Cities medal.

(You get Beach Cities medal if you run the series of Surf City Marathon, OC Marathon and Long Beach Marathon)

I had the choice to pick whether to just take the half or go for full....

But then I thought about it. I already paid for the full marathon, might as well do it, right? What could go wrong?

I thought, If I'd go for the full marathon, and by any chance on my 15th mile, I give up, then it still a win-win. It was still more than the half marathon.....I don't care if I have a medal or not. I trained for the half, and I thought, I still did more than what I came for.

I made a bold step to choose Plan A, because that has been the plan from the very beginning. It was already in my head that I wanted to prove to myself that I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to even if I thought it was impossible.

I didn't give up even though my body was screaming in pain. I was trying to run with a cramp like this:

It's what made it exciting. It's what made the victory so sweet. Never will I forget that experience ever. It's actually a highlight of my 2014.

Along the way, for some reason, I thought about my parents. It made me tear up a little bit. For those of you who know me, I'm a freaking cry-baby, so if I cried, I would hyperventilate, and that wasn't good for my abdominal breathing during my run. So I had to calm myself down and tried to stay focus. 

I also thought about my friends who were so supportive on facebook and how they actually believed I can do it. So I didn't want to let everyone down, and that just kept me going faster even though It was hurting all over.

It's funny how each and every like/comment on facebook meant so much to me. It was like a driving force. So never underestimate the impact of your words on social media. You might be inspiring someone with just a comment. So thank you to all people who liked/commented on my posts. That was for all of you. 

And I hope in writing this blog, I would inspire someone else too. Just like you, who is reading it right now.

Okay, I know some people don't understand why we sign up for this kind of crazy stuff. It takes a special kind of crazy to run a marathon. 

To tell you why I sign up for events like this is because I love challenges, I love fitness, I love the brotherhood and camaraderie, I love being in new places,  and I think one of the main reason why I do it is because, I love the adrenaline. I guess I'm a sucker for adventure, no roller coasters for me though.

Some people would think I'm nuts... because I go to the gym atleast 6 days a week, I train like there's no tomorrow, and sometimes, they say I don't take any days off. I'm not crazy, just dedicated. 

When I say dedicated, I'm always thinking of reaching my goals. Although I lose my focus when I cheat on my meals, or when I'm being lazy. Hello? Nobody is perfect? But hey, I get back and still workout. In some days, even harder.

Tips on How to Survive Full Marathon with little/No Training:

1. Cardio Training - You have to run atleast a 12 miles straight or more, find your perfect stride, pace and posture.

2. Wear something really comfortable and light. 

3. Hydrate yourself a day before, during and after the race. Chug on water and Gatorade.

4. Wear the best distance running shoes.

5. Listen to music. My top 5 songs on the repeat were: Hall of Fame, Eye of the Tiger, Lose Yourself, Titanium, Team.

6. Knee support if you have bad knees.

7. Gu-gels, bananas and oranges, helps with cramping.

8. Get your Running app on your phone and activate gps so it records your mileage.

9. Get your own cheering squad, it actually helps when they have a banner for you, especially on the last few miles.

10. Attitude. Warrior/Fighting Spirit. Believe.

On my 25th mile, I started to run a little bit faster, and faster. I thought: "hey, one more freaking mile." and before I know it i was back at the oc fair grounds with people cheering me on.

On the last 100 feet to the finish line, Eye of the tiger suddenly played on my ipod, damn, I felt like Manny Pacquiao, and ran as fast as I could. SPRINT!

I finished slow but strong. It took me 5hr and 27min, still beating my personal goal of 5hr and 30 or 6 or 7 hours.

I actually did it. I freakin' did it. 

They asked me: "What motivates you in all of this?"

I will tell you this, I've always wanted to be fit, and when I sign up for events, the training for what you signed up for is unbelievably a motivation itself. It is kind of like, you already paid for it. Now you have to train.

Many of you don't know that I have been overweight in the past and just thinking of gaining all that weight back motivates me, I never want to be in that state ever again. 

When I workout, I always think I can eat whatever I want, even cake.

If you want to look good in your clothes, on a bikini or naked, you have to work for it.

Bottomline is, whatever your motivation is, think that this is for yourself, not for other people. You want to be your own competition.

I believe that working out at the gym has become a habit for me now. It's a lifestyle change. Once you find that perfect program that you would actually stick to, go for it.

Question: How can you survive a Full marathon with little/no training?

Answer: Just freaking do it! :)

Smooches,

P